Dead By Dawn

Things have been kind of crazy on my end. I’ve been going through some things-nothing too sserious… well, I don’t know. Unfortunately, I am going to be very cloudy on the subject, but I chalk it up to being thrown into a high speed office job after being a stay at home mom for 3 years and a lazy college student before that and it has proven to be difficult in ways I totally didn’t see coming. Don’t get me wrong, though, I still love my job! And the people and pay are worth it.

My brother is moving back to Indiana sometime around June. I am so excited! I miss Dustin and his wife and kids so much. They are always a blast to be around and growing up we were (mostly) buddies.

Losing weight is slow going, but it’s going. And , that’s good enough. For now.

I found out recently that I am the weird girl who talks to herself at her desk. Lol, honestly, it’s embarrassing, and I try to stop when I notice I am doing it. God, I sound crazy, don’t I?

Brave is amazing. I usually like Disney, but damnit, that show is beautiful.

I love Wen hair conditoner, but if you leave it on your skin too long it gets itchy. I still use it because my hair is so amazing.

Also, considering trying the Body By Vi challenge. Though, I am still not convinced that it isn’t a scam. Plus, I’ve done the whole fad dieting thing…. I mean, it can get you there, but when you’re don’t you really have to try to stay there.

I am sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, I am lazy and posting from my phone makes me lazy.

Goodnight, Tumblr.

I have been pulling my pants up all week. 

Cancer, ruling planet : the moon, element: water

What’s your sign, baby?

Hello, my name is Stephanie Ann and I am a Cancer. :)

So, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that one of my all-time favorite things to do is go night swimming. I love swimming, but enjoy it that much more under the moon and stars. God, there is something divine in night swimming.

Yesterday, it was so hot there was a heat advisory. I wasn’t even out in it all that much and got a headache from the heat. So, I went to my dad’s to go swimming. My brother (who lives out-of-state) is here and took me, Sam, Evan, his kids, my dad, and step-mom out for ice cream and spent time with him.

Then, when the sun set for the night I finally got to go swimming. I forgot that once upon a time, before I had Sam, that I use to go night swimming alllll the time. I loved it. I still love it. I definitely prefer summer nights to summer days and the water was just lovely.

This summer I have been doing a lot of swimming and it is paying off. I’m down a whole size and I feel better (when I am not over-heating-which, with my Harliquin Syndrome, isn’t hard to do).

I finally aquired a bathing suit. I think I look like a fat fuck in it, but Evan seems to like it, so, you know, I suck it up and feign confidence.

I am hoping to be down another size by the end of July and back to my pre pregnancy size by September or October. I greatly depends on how I feel.

In totally unrelated news, Knotfest; I want to go SOOO badly. The nearest it will be is a 10 hour drive and I am broke and I do not trust my car to make the drive. But, seriously, Slipknot, SERJ TANKIAN, Dethklok, Lamb of God, and Cannibal Corpse. I hate that I am going miss such an epic show. :(

Have you ever…?

Sometime this week or next I was thinking about going on a 24hour water fast (consume nothing but water for a day). Has anyone else done this? When I was a Christian I fasted and it wasn’t easy, but I prayed at mealtimes and didn’t have a kid and wasn’t the mealmaker of the house.

I plan on meditating and praying during mealtimes if I can with this fast as well, but that’s only a bonus-this isn’t spiritual. I’m trying to flush my system.

I don’t yet know if I am even going to do it. I just would like a jump start on the weight loss. I know losing weight the right way is a slow process, but having fibromyalgia makes it had to do work outs on a regular basis and the bars in my back makes yoga out of the question. So, I thought a detox might be of some use. Idk.

Though, I have been doing more housework to burn more calories and have a cleaner and more organized home… kind of kills two birds with one stone.

I have had some chicken since my last update, but, I am thinking that cutting out poultry is going to be a lot harder than red meat.

I have no clue if I have lost more weight. My shorts that didn’t fit a month ago doesn’t seem to fit better than is did two weeks ago, but some of my tank tops seem to be looking better on me. I am still too scared to step on the scale… I have since before my miscarriage and probably won’t again until I am back down a size… which I am in limbo… the jeans I am wearing now getting too big and the ones I want to fit in are still a bit too snug. *le sigh* it’s totally lame.

Though, after I get to wear I’m aiming I plan on setting another goal, and then another, all the way until I am in the size I was when I got married. Evan and I both have pack on the lbs and we both are going to try to get back to our size we were when we got hitched. I don’t know how long it’s going to take, but I am excited for the both of us. :)

General Update

Sam went to the doctor today and they are going to refer him to First Steps to evaluate his hearing and speech delay. Other than that he is a very healthy and happy boy. Very tall. 99.93 percentile… wow. They didn’t seem too worried about his speech delay, but def agreed that it does need looked at.

Evan is being slowly moved to days and even though it’s 10 cents less per hour it will be better for us and for me.

I have been having trouble sleeping and drinking a lot of chamomille tea almost every night just to relax, but I get super sleepy during the day… totally lame. I have also been going through a flare-up and since drinking more water and less meat I do notice it’s a bit more manageable. Still hurts like. Hell, though.

I haven’t totally cut out poultry, but been buying cage free products and vegetarian fed hens.

I had meat today, but before that we all went several days without meat and I’m damn proud. I plan on eating no meat tomorrow.

I’m still losing weight. My jeans that were the only ones left that fit are def getting lose on me. I haven’t tried the other jeans yet because the button came off on one and the zipper is broke on the other one. Lovely, huh? Well, I guess I need to learn how to do alterations, because I can’t afford buying new clothes.

My boobs are still bigger, though. *le sigh* I am not as happy about this as Evan is. Lol

Oh! Pottermore is FINALLY out of beta and open to the public!!! Very excite!

Annnnnd… that’s been my life the past week or so. Sounds boring,I know, and it may be to some (and me sometimes, lol) ,but I love my life and the people in it. :)

It’s working!

I have been avoiding the scales, but I can tell that I am starting to lose the weight. :)
My new rules for myself are

Drink more water, less diet mt dew (the more water I drink, the better it tastes)

No seconds…. no exeptions

Work out when you can.

Dance when there is music (even though I can’t dance)

Eat more fruits and veggies

Eat less meat*

So, this has been helping me… a lot. I feel better and I can just tell I’ve lost some, probably not a lot, and I don’t see it in the mirror, but I can tel because my clothes are starting to fit like they use to.

*after all the meat in my house it ate, I am officially not buying anymore. The transition to vegetarianism has begun!

Ramblr

Hello.

I used to give updates about my weight loss, and figured I should start doing it again. Mainly, because I tended to do better with it.

I think it’s almost been a year since I REALLY tried to lose weight. I blogged that I went down a size and that’s where I stayed. Still one size bigger than my pre-pregnancy body.

Since I started miscarrying I have gotten so bloated. I mean, severe bloat. Like, wearing baggy clothes, barely able to squeeze in my jeans, would rather stay in my pjs and bum it type of bloat.
The miscarriage ended naturally, but my gut still remains…

I have a pretty good level of self-esteem. I love my curves, my thighs, and my boobs (not to mention my gorgeous red hair and pretty face- despite my large nose). My belly has always been a part of me that I didn’t like, but I don’t think having a part or two or three that you don’t like should bring your body image down. Least, it doesn’t with me… … too much. ;)

But, right now I am terrified to step on a scale. What I THOUGHT was bloat could just be too many Oreo Cheesequake Blizzards and Arby’s cheesesticks. ‘Cause that is what I do when I’m depressed: I carbo-load. And last week I did it on a massive scale like I’ve never done before. And what I once thought was severe bloat I’m starting to thinks is just fat.

And, something needs to be done about it.

SO. I’m going to try to lose the weight again. And if I get back to my US size 16/17 in jeans, then I will be a happy camper. :)